Granny coitus

A story by an astonishing artist of the modern era. The young 34 year old boy losing his virginity to a women of the elderly population. Just sit back and enjoy the story.

Sweat began to drip from Duja's body. He knew he would be scared, but his python stood uptight ... he decided to lose his virginity. Grandma Biserka, although in late years, was well kept, like the treasure of Sierra Madre. He was not the first young man that she took virginity from. She was taking it naturally.

Duja getting ready for his first riding experience.

She came to him, and nibbled his ear while telling him to relax. Duja, a little scared, felt that he cummed in his pants a little bit. That didn't stop him. He kissed the hot granny and felt like a man. He immediately took off her vest and grabbed her old wrinkled melons. He could not wait. He was breast-feeding like a newborn who can't live without his milk.

He licked her breasts, while granny Biserka was rubbing his crooked rod over his pants. She said, "Do not worry boy ... I'll make a man out of you" ...

Warning: If you watch granny action, don't tickle your rod's sensitive fraction.

The horse school

Many things happen in the horse schools and the rest of the world never knows that. It could be either bear attacks, or intimidating phone calls from the bears, but we don't know that yet. But, we do know that horses are kinda getting ready with their famous poker face. They also have a guard that tells them when the attack of the bears is going to happen, not even by using words. Well, that really grinds my gears. How are they able to do such things? Who knows, maybe horses do know telepathy.

SOON we are gonna land the moon

Well, this is one of their telepathy guards that saved many little horses by using its unnatural skills to either fight the bears or warn his fellow horses that danger is near, so they can all run in their barns etc. But bears aren't easy targets as they seem to be carrying machine guns and shooting lasers through their eyes.

We want horse meat  ;)

Bears like going in packs or battalions, armed with machine guns and stuff, killing horses because their land is currently being infested by Kermit the frog that steals their forest and makes a decent bear lose his own house material. Bears can not stop this frog due to the big bear depression that stroke the bear society not long ago.

Bears stand no chance. Yaaaaay! : ( ) 

His scary face makes me go run from the screen, but bears would probably make a soup out of him if it wasn't for the bear depression that they are experiencing right now. So, basically, Kermit kidnapped little bear cubs and forced them into hard labor and other personal pleasures.

Warning: IF you are a bear, then at the moon you shall stare : < >

Vengeful chickens

So, every sitcom starts like with some impossible real life situation, like two neighbors divided by hate. One with a daughter and one with a chicken. So, once upon a time, a neighbor with a daughter sees a chicken passing trough his yard and decides to kill it. As the time passed, the other neighbor decides to strike back by stabbing his daughter. This all wouldn't happen if the "anti-killing chicken" organization was questioning this situation.

Stop killing the chicken : < > 

These guys solved many chicken murders and decided to move on to this one, even though one guy is in prison. But, as you see, I wouldn't mess with this chicken because it's probably the biggest interrogation inspector in the chicken organization. You can basically see how he molests a dog by putting it in a cage. This is a serious problem. No wonder all the dogs want to kill the chicken organization. Biggest enemies of the chicken organization are somewhat dogs in the cage, molested and beaten without a reason. That's why dogs decided to get in their cars and stop this injustice : ( ) .

Don't mess with the dogs bro!

The bad ass look of this dog's face makes chicken really think what could possibly happen to their organization, but dogs would already start to gather, if it wasn't for passing the speed limit and ending up in jail. For every dog that doesn't pass the speed limit, you would see a lot of feathers and eaten chicken.

Sir, you do know you were going over the speed limit? 

Maybe the dogs would have more luck going on foot, but who are we to decide what will these guys do for their doggy rights. I do know that one day, they will eat some chicken noodle soup.

Warning: If you are a chicken, then you better hide, because dogs are coming : ( ) .

Mystery of the whitestag

So, the white-stags came out to be the most interesting animals out there, even more interesting than cats and storks combined, but I wouldn't get that far if they were granted the rank of the most WTF animal. It's not that which fulfills them the most, but the thing that they can predict the future by looking at the moon and stuff, saying when the next Armageddon will fall and such.

Give me money and I will make you honey <3

White-stags are really kicking ass. All I can say is that a white-stag can basically fight a penguin that learned to fly, (if that's even possible) but let's get straight to the point. Penguins have few advantages: first they can fit in flip-flops and second, they can swim in really cold water.

Penguins are great rocket scientist 8)

Penguins are really advanced in technology, that even I wouldn't mess with them. If they can actually do this, I would let the stags finish them off, but the only thing a penguin can't beat in technology, and possibly can't beat in 1 vs 1 battle is an Apache helicopter that has machine guns and rockets.

Kiss the guns or hug the rocket :* <===<

These guys give you two options: Kiss the guns, or hug the rocket. Both are effective and probably not fun, but look it on the bright side. This nice war machine can stop the evil penguins killing white-stags. : <>

Warning: If you are a flying penguin, please remove your rockets and be a normal one.

Bacon Condoms

As they say: "You can stop the party, but you can't stop the communist party" and you can also stop unwanted babies by using some bacon condoms. I think bacon condoms were first used by the storks, but since they carry everyone's child, I doubt it was them who manufacture this kind of condoms. Those are probably the people that make these kind of bacon in the first place.

Use me or abuse me :<>

Everyone needs a condom that is made of bacon. I can say that, but the most things people need are Sloth sages. The legend says they can stop an earthquake if you eat them, but I think if you eat them you will just get fat like a pig with wings that can't fly like every other pig, because of the oversize problem.

Come fly with me and eat bacon <3

The last thing a pig with wings needs is a Sloth sage, but the thing that really gets them are radars. In the end, they get shot down by the planes of the newest technology. Nothing personal, they just don't wanna have people informed about these kind of stuff, because it would make them eat Sloth-sauge thinking they would get wings which would cause failed attempts anyways.

Fly with me up the sky, because I am hot, and not close to dry ;)

Planes are really cool, no doubt about that. No wonder all the chicks wanna be with the pilots and if they see them shooting pigs with wings... Ooh, those would be really lucky people there, getting all the fame for making a pig go back to the ground where it belongs : O

Warning: If you are a possible pig with wings, well don't fly too high, or you will get shot down by a plane.

Squirrel ramp

So, I was thinking if squirrels would build ramps, where would it be? Would it be some cold mountains or the North Korean and South Korean border? We are yet to find out about these fascinating animals that make me smile more then when I see some sick picture on the Internet and then later I make a post about it. So these guys basically could make ramps and actually add some laws in their homeland.

Stopping the nuclear war like a squirrel.

So, when they make a border, I guess there's always some good old intention for doing that. Probably the agenda they have, helping the sides calm down and such, like not making them go into rage when they are missing as their birthday gift. Also, these guys made a nice song for some Rose mobile phones. I guess the song goes like "Roses are red, I got a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone". It's a nice song I guess... kinda makes you think.

Right moment to use the right hand when you are alone.

Well, I guess he had a lot of enjoyment alone so he started crying. By the look of his face, he is lacking calcium and possibly vitamin B or he ate a lot of dog hair. Maybe this guy actually saw something crazy and nasty like a horse in a car.

Horse in your car, stealing your ashtray and radio.

So, a horse in your goddamn car should be the reason why you should put the bars on your front window, unless you want your ashtray or radio being stolen by the evil horse from the land of wild horses. With no future, the horses that do drugs every day, make me shred a tear and make me think about those poor things trying to make a living out of radios and ashtrays.

Warning: If a horse jumped in your car, then buy bars for the front window | | |

The eternity of the golden fish

As you guys know, the golden fishes give 3 wishes, but to those who capture them by force, they only give 1. Sadly everyone catches them by the force, but mostly you can get some golden fishes, as they sell them in the stores. What's more frustrating is when you buy one, you get it in a bag of water. Imagine some sloth puts its nasty claws and stabs it, then you lose all your wishes of being a badass sailor or something.

Rape many goldfishes, get many wishes!

This picture may create a lot of talented song writers, but the only reason it's dashing through the grass is I guess to rape your ass. That's nothing what a raven would do to you, if he saw you had 20 dollars in your hand. I guess they would do some nasty wild stuff too, but I'm not here to judge ravens, I'm just pointing out what they would do.

Your money or your ice cream. Or both <3

I don't know why, but they probably stare at you like this until they get their buddies, the sloths to beat you up and take away your icecream cash. The first things they would do with that money will be probably rebuilding some nests and abandoned houses for their mafia lair. I doubt anybody would help them with that, but since there are sweatshop workforce, the sad bears, I guess it might even work

Sad bears - house builders

The cheap working sad bears say it all. The corruption of the evil ravens, that made them become what they are, while the others live in big bear houses, eating bearnanas and drinking water from the rivers, non-affected by the pollution.

Warning: If you are a bear, well don't be sad, OK. And do the : < > (stork) dance.

The land of the storks

OK, so anything more fascinating then sea pandas might be the storks. They conquered the region of the Storkland bringing babies and stuff from the international trade organization. They also have their trademark, it goes like this : < > so everybody should do the stork and fly in the promised lands in their minds, experiencing a nirvana.

This is the path of Nirvana... Take off your shirt! If you are a boy, don't.

So the storks don't have any rights by the law, and I am concerned that these creatures deserve better treatment. I mean every time I made a topic on some random  forums, the people that work there deleted it and said if I keep posting stuff like that, they will remove me. I don't get it why they said that, when these animals bring joy and love to the world. Also, some guy commented like: "What are storks for with those famous china faces -.............-" and I said: "LOL this guy has no sense of humor", like a white guy in Africa, but lets get straight to the point. The thing is, storks really slap on the law because they are being good at eating the frogs that steal their business. I mean frogs have their own trademark and also they are really good at doing crazy stuff, well like being frogs and such : ( ) .

Don't eat me. I will give you frog gold : ( )

The frogs getting eaten by the storks is not cool, because they opened a conversation in the united nations for their protection : ( ) and they got declined, well I think they have more luck getting eaten, then getting protected. I guess it's the time for the unlucky horse.

Unlucky horse says no to horse molesting <3

And holy molly, enough of internet for today! The molested horses will never have equal rights like frogs, but even if they do, well they will be molested horses. So, I guess that's it for today.

Warning: If you molest horses, well don't do it like in this picture or I'll guess you are horse maniacs >_>

Cats on drugs

Cats on drugs inspired me because I watched some American show where some guy comes and tries to stop the cats taking drugs and beating its owner for money, so they can buy them and then I asked myself: "Wow man, even cats are in drug business and are gangsters?"

Your wallet or your noodles

So this cat really reminds me of godfather when they all get together to make a big plan, and the big cat is like acting tough and as such, giving the command word. But the cat that takes drugs story wouldn't be complete if there weren't their lifetime opponents the Scatrats. These guys basically make the cat mafia business impossible, because they work better then Interpol and are well informed where these kittens sell the meth and such, killing poor little kittens leaving them without a future. They could be cleaning the streets at least, because these kittens are hard workers by the might of equality (communism cats).

Comrade what did you say about the party of the great motherland

Here comes this bad ass that changed the history of the cat's lives, making them less likely to take bribe from sea pandas. Sea pandas are something I discovered, and are most fascinating. They are like pandas but they are in the sea. I guess these guys are so overpowered that I cant imagine having one, because that would make me cry more then when Stalin died : ( ).

My name is Panda, Sea Panda

So the agent Pandarius is here as most people don't care about pandas. I should say that they have this black signs around their eyes which indicates the torture, possibly crying when they entered a specific stage of evolution. That's about it about pandas, cats and tanks.

-Warning: If you are a panda and this post has offended you... well you should become a sea panda then, I guess.
: ( )

Star travel dogs

You know that dog that got launched in the space and it's from Russia? Well that ain't me, that's this dog:

IN soviet Russia, the dog drives you

The badass dog Laika from the Soviet times really kicks the mood of people these days. Just look at its magical driving skills. It really knows where to go. They probably gave her GPS and LSD, but it still knew where the Moon was, or did she? The Moon knew where Laika was and came to pick her up from the Earth.Well that didn't happen for sure becuse the dog died in the travel to moon, probably got drowned because they forgot to put the astronaut's headsets on her. So Laika died 1 day after from the stress, because she might have been witness of the Aliens.

Laika will know

So these aliens really scared Laika out of her wits. Laika was a master of combat, she had CCCP high-tech laser gun of the new cold war apocalypse, that was probably making Laika worry when she landed back. Cold War really got Laika messed up, so she started forgetting to eat, often spent her best ages in shelter while the other dogs played cheerfully on the streets, when every dog was equal in those times, IN THE SYSTEM OF COMMUNISM. She got the highest honors like most badass dog on the moon and a brave medal, though I don't think she really wanted to be in that space shuttle that was big as 1 meter space cube, without water and food, but that's another story.Well, probably not 1 meter, but that picture showed like she was Kicking it the Lenin style.

Marx, I told you not to drink from the lamp

Warning: If you are a possible communist, then share the post with others because sharing is party, and party means communist party!

Dancing skunk

You know that kind of skunk that dances and makes funny noises? Well that ain't me, that's a skunk.

Corporate skunk demands fluffy love

So these guys became famous when one has fallen into a well and drowned itself. The authorities suggested that the skunk was high on skank and their dealers were the anti-skunk organizations for fappers. So these people have no feelings about the skunks, but skunks have rights like, I don't know, to take a bomb in your backyard. The constitution allows them that.But their big enemies ain't just the anti-skunk organizations, but it's the "Anteater company" of the New World Order.

Yo man! You want these cheeseburgers?

These guys are like on every skunk protest, making the life of a decent skunk skunky as hell. Man, they can thank the skunks, because they enslaved them to find the ant lairs while stinking the ground. The reason they enslaved the skunks is because the anteaters are deaf and you can swear at them, and they wont get it. It's like a dog in a box trying to get out. Really nasty though.

Help me get out and I will find the cheater of your wife <3 

Ah, the good guy dog. He's really nice, but gets a lot of times in trouble due to his stubbornness. Man, he so cute I'd teach him to drive a car and let him help people around the world. But he is a dog that needs some respect. He once licked malaria from an African truck, so it didn't poison the United Nations food supply. Good Job Matheus.

As a conclusion, skunks are capitalists, anteaters are commies (yes they are) and dogs are our founding fathers that served in the military. Take an example of Matheus, the good dog :)

Warning: This post wasn't made to offend anyone. If you find yourself offended, then replace the picture of a dog in a box with a box on the dog

Yeti, are they real?

Have you ever noticed those white bastards that don't exist. You can see them often on hentai dressed like normal people, acting so real. You can also see them on some video games made by the big minds of yeti fappers.

Fap on me because I'm fabulous :*

As you can see they look really scary, so I wouldn't mess with them unless they were giving free yetijobs. But they can be also awarded for the peace prize of 2013 because every time they enter in some game, they act like some warm brothers tribe. But never mind the yetis, as they are overrated. Anyway, instead you can choose a chihuahua. They are those little punks that look like a cow's excrement, if you get me here?

Yo man I'm a chihuahua :()

I love these pictures, as they make life look so fabulous, especially for the cows that argue over the who owns the wicked land of the green grass. My last post showed some bad-ass barbarian, but I think this time I'm gonna put some nice fields. "May those fields bring the famine for the cows once when the rain gods don't send them the fuel."

The corporate Zeus says "Give fuel!"

That's all for today, and remember - Cattle before dogs.
Warning: If you are a cow and this post offended you, please complain to google.com, so we can switch the pictures of a cow, with pictures of a donkey.

Don't play wow

Wow  is an online game which will ruin your social life.I played wow for 2 years and I didn't pay attention to my surrounding, my dog died at tender age of 5 from mating too much. I couldn't stop it, I was occupied with playing wow and chating with online pedophiles which made their skype pictures of some female Japanese role models. When they told me stories of their pedophile lives, I was surprised that I'm not the only one crazy in this world, but they also told me that they are losers with no friends for which I applaud to. I mean what kind of a guy lives with cancer and has no friends and his excuse for not having any friends is like he has aids or something. I mean seriously, "What the fuck is wrong with the internet people these days?"

Hi, I'm only 13, wanna hang out?

I met a lot of crazy people in wow from those who date online, to those who suck online and I was surprised myself that something like that could get out of a women's no-no square (and from what material it was made of). Then I realized that they are only hiding their true identities. I used to make fun of those online wow daters, I mean what pros they are :D Like their theory is kinda cyber sex and you can't have kids. Lol, sounds like philosophy of Sophocles to me :().

Where are my eyes?

I met a lot of people from many different countries, and I learned their language. I can say only stuff I know is swearing and making fun of people with mental problems, but that's all they wanted to teach me. It's like I was the new Messiah of that game, because I was the best paladin around. People asked me for tips on how to play, I mean what kinda of a moron levels his character to level 80. I mean level 80 and then ask me what spells to use? That sounds like barbarian from the lands of rape and where people are limited in their head and knowledge.

Violence first, questions later... in the land of rape!

Warning to all those maniacs or sociopaths that read this: This isn't showing my reality or how I lost my social life, because I have one. Rather it is showing my experience with unstable people from the wow world.

I'm watching you <3 

Pedo Crock is watchin over you :D